September Goals and Monthly Updates

1. August Lull - catfish, security threats 
2. September Plans
3. B-Day Videos, 6 edited, drop box, etc
4. New Monitor Goal
5. Dukes! Dukes! Dukes?

Happy Hump Day! And Happy end of August!

Sorry for the lull the last few weeks, I was just getting things in order and then had a bit of a security threat in mid August. I was notified by a hand full of people that someone has been stealing my photos and using them on tinder. I still haven't been able to get this person removed but my initial fear was that it was a personal and malicious attack because a friend who lives near me was matched with this catfish. I thought, oh shit, who ever is doing this is near by and maybe knows me. But later we found out that it's using some sort of bot and will show up on your tinder pretty much anywhere. But obvs with a human moderator, if you remember me chasing them for a few days every time they changed their instagram name lol.

Thank You!

I know it is common for people to reflect on what they are happy about around the holidays and they go all ooy gooy about this and that... but at risk of being totally cliche, I just want to say Thank You!

Last November I decided to be a cam model.

I wasn't desperate for money. I wasn't in need of attention. I was curious. I'm an explorer and I like asking questions. It started out sort of like a research project and a test of my sexuality. I like to think of myself as a fairly open minded person and at the time, I was sort of wondering about my definitions of sexuality. I knew I was offended by porn but I didn't really know why. Was it because society taught me as a woman to find male sexuality vile and dirty? Or was it simply a preference, a choice I had made on my own, social bias aside?

That adventure is a whole different post but let's stick to the curiosity theme here. I was listening to Howard Stern's talk radio show and he was interviewing a girl who fucked herself in front of a webcam for money.

Up to this point, I had never heard of such a thing. So, I'm not big into porn. But I am into figuring things out. And to be honest, the exhibitionist aspect gets me excited. (Getting gang fucked by strong men with competition winning sized penises DOES NOT) This particular interviewee on Howard's show had her experience in porn and so I assumed this was some thing porn stars did on the side and didn't really think it was something "normal" girls did. And I didn't think too much about it for a while.

Tip for pussy, bb. (I am not a whore.)

Women are still paid, on average, 75 cents to the dollar that men earn for the same job with the same qualifications. This is not to mention the disparity of white male earnings and other minorities. Unfortunately, our society and even in the year 2013 still values its penis-possessing members above their baby-making counterparts. This is sad, but not for me.

Since I started modeling my boobies and earning money based on the fact that I am a female who enjoys the cyber-space company of men, I have been noticing what I believe is a serious misrepresentation of sex workers in our media and folk stories. (When I say sex workers, I don't mean prostitutes exclusively  but any woman who uses sex in any way to earn a living.) I think this image should be noted and analyzed as it speaks to a general attitude held by, or at least readily accepted by, the larger mainstream population.

This is America. Our culture is based in Puritan-Christian beliefs and whether or not we are religious, these values have been passed down and are so infused into our behavior and value system that it is sometimes difficult to see the forest through the trees. Our sexuality is shamed from the moments we begin to express it. We are so repressed that we have a tendency  through media and other visible avenues, to sexualize EVERYTHING. The female breasts, viewed in many societies simply as a nice piece of flabby meat that feeds babies, has become such a sexualized aspect of the female form that we almost view it as its own reproductive organ so much to the point that young girls who mature to possess them are taught to hide and even be ashamed of them (we could also discuss breast augmentation  often practiced to amplify and justify perceptions of femininity). Others turn to the alternative extreme and represent themselves as "whores" simply by making the decision to be proud of their bodies. This stigma follows females into adulthood and we dress not for ourselves, and not even for the attraction of men (which would be biologically sound, maybe not feminist), but in a way that is acceptable and approved by other women in our society who hold these repressive values. (This is a sort of paradox and I don't have time to argue it's existence here. You don't have to accept this premise to understand my larger argument.)