Women are still paid, on average, 75 cents to the dollar that men earn for the same job with the same qualifications. This is not to mention the disparity of white male earnings and other minorities. Unfortunately, our society and even in the year 2013 still values its penis-possessing members above their baby-making counterparts. This is sad, but not for me.
Since I started modeling my boobies and earning money based on the fact that I am a female who enjoys the cyber-space company of men, I have been noticing what I believe is a serious misrepresentation of sex workers in our media and folk stories. (When I say sex workers, I don't mean prostitutes exclusively but any woman who uses sex in any way to earn a living.) I think this image should be noted and analyzed as it speaks to a general attitude held by, or at least readily accepted by, the larger mainstream population.
This is America. Our culture is based in Puritan-Christian beliefs and whether or not we are religious, these values have been passed down and are so infused into our behavior and value system that it is sometimes difficult to see the forest through the trees. Our sexuality is shamed from the moments we begin to express it. We are so repressed that we have a tendency through media and other visible avenues, to sexualize EVERYTHING. The female breasts, viewed in many societies simply as a nice piece of flabby meat that feeds babies, has become such a sexualized aspect of the female form that we almost view it as its own reproductive organ so much to the point that young girls who mature to possess them are taught to hide and even be ashamed of them (we could also discuss breast augmentation often practiced to amplify and justify perceptions of femininity). Others turn to the alternative extreme and represent themselves as "whores" simply by making the decision to be proud of their bodies. This stigma follows females into adulthood and we dress not for ourselves, and not even for the attraction of men (which would be biologically sound, maybe not feminist), but in a way that is acceptable and approved by other women in our society who hold these repressive values. (This is a sort of paradox and I don't have time to argue it's existence here. You don't have to accept this premise to understand my larger argument.)
If a women chooses to not adhere to this value system she is viewed as less pure (I would argue less "female") than her less provocative female companions. If a women were to make a decision to not subject herself to the disparity of pay and the glass ceiling that existed before her birth and enter into one of the many male dominated work forces in her male dominated society, but instead chooses to use her body, let's say in a career such as modeling. Real modeling, like, fashion or art. She has to subject her female form to the same rigorous discipline and manipulation as would a professional male football player. But instead of gaining the prestige and image of heroism that a "professional athlete" would receive from his society, she is depicted as a vain slut.
Look to your favorite TV show and wait for that episode about the poor model who just wanted to make it big and was simply in need of a savior. People, both male and female, have difficulty understanding what would push such a lovely young woman into a life style that has the potential for drug abuse and eating disorders (whether or not our particular young damsel faces any of these challenges). They fail to see that many male ball players are suffering serious brain trauma after they retire and that plenty commit suicide, all this just to earn some money and temporary fame. They look past the countless hours of rigorous training and the temptation to turn to performance enhancing drugs... Maybe this isn't ignored but in the least, we believe that because he is a man, he can face and handle such trials on his own. We do not pity the athlete who uses his body for monetary gain, but we pity the whore. It does not matter if she is actually a prostitute, or just a stripper, or even a girl who poses in a nice dress, she is a whore who needs to be saved because no woman could possibly be sexual and choose to promote that all on her own.
Let's talk about Joe and Sue for a moment in an effort to paint a more conceivable picture of my point.
Joe works 60 hours a week and isn't always paid overtime. He hates his job and hates his tie and is beginning to resent his wife and family who he is forced to support by "honest" means. Society dictates that in order for Joe to be a good husband, father, and to be a good man, he must subject himself to a life style that he hates. He is pimped out by his boss who earns more because he is white and has more connections, and is forced to work excruciating hours, he takes it right up the ass (metaphorically speaking) and earns his wage because sometimes it is fair and usually it's not that bad. This is not what Joe dreamed of when he was a kid. But he does it for the money.
Sue, on the other hand, is one of those call girls who hangs out in fancy bars. She is payed well and receives all the medical benefits her heart desires. She has monthly check-ups and visits a personal trainer. She loves men and loves their company. She has found that career that makes her happy and allows her to satisfy her creative and sexual urges. All those people told her when she was young to "find the job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." Despite the fact that she is done this, she is still viewed as a sub-citizen of the greater society. She is less than her respectable, hard working counterpart, Joe. Less respectable, less human, even.
Sure, there are many prostitutes who find themselves in their life style not out of choice but rather represent other prominent issues in our society (a discussion that should NOT be ignored). But I think I've made a point. Who is the real "whore?" Is it Joe or Sue who is selling themselves just for money? Who is doing things they don't love, or don't at least enjoy because society has created the circumstance for them to gain from it?
Maybe I am stretching for an analogy here with a prostitute, or maybe I am practicing the same tendency to be unable to imagine sex with strangers being enjoyable work, but the same picture can be presented using your regular ol' cam model. Most of the girls I am in contact with love their work and are grateful and sometimes shocked that they could actually support themselves doing it. Sometimes they, we encounter men who cannot possibly imagine that we do this because we like it. They assume that we must be desperate or greedy and that we have sunk so low in our lives to satisfy our need for the dollar by using our sexuality to achieve our stability. This assumption is not only largely biased, ignorant, and false, it is sexist. If you believe this about every cam model you meet (I know that it is true for some, and that sucks) then you should really take a moment to evaluate your perception of society and specifically that of women.
Again, it is hard for us to conceive that a woman could make this decision all on her own (yes, I know many don't). But I don't pity them. I pity Joe along with the men and women who do find themselves in jobs and careers that were chosen for them by circumstance and society. Whether their jobs be white collar, blue collar, or sex, I am sorry for the people who are unhappy. I am not sorry for them just because they are female and sexy.
I don't hate men. I don't even blame men for the existence of such systems. They are also products and I believe victims of such oppression. There are men who wander around on cam sites and visit only the non-nude girls. Most of them do this because they genuinely like her but there are a few who I believe do it in order to placate the shame that they feel for their sexual needs as men. These few are on a campaign to save the whores even though it is out of a biased need to justify their presence on such a site and not actually out of a desire to help the helpless. They think that any girl who get's naked for a living must be desperate for money. They believe they can convince her that what she is doing is wrong and that there is "better" out there. They are here to save her. They ignore the fact that she may enjoy what she is doing. She may not desire his perception of "better." They believe "dignity" is doing something you don't enjoy just to earn some money as long as that thing isn't sex.
Dignity is defined as the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect. This definition does not state whether this state or quality is dictated by society or some entity outside the individual. I would argue that this quality could be promoted from within the individual, when a person is in a state where they believe they are worthy of honor and respect. This definition is not predicated on one's occupation or education, or gender or skin color. It is not based on what others believe. Personally, I think all people are worthy of honor and respect. This is my personal belief that I must offer a certain level of respect to all humans and in that, all humans posses some fragment of dignity, even if only in my mind.
But what do I know, I'm just a cam whore.
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