Being young is weird. I'm not all grown up yet and I think I'm starting to realize that that simply doesn't happen for anyone. If I could tell my future-adult child-having self one thing, it would be to promise to never EVER tell your kids (teenagers) that "You'll understand when you're older." You won't. You will just get more comfortable with the fact that not every thing can be understood. Adults don't have some superpower that allows them to understand everything. A lot of adults give up trying to understand. The healthy ones learn to accept their humanity and accept their reliance on the unknown, and they are okay with that. Other adults get bitter about being so insecure. They are dicks, don't be like them.
There is truth though, to the statement "You'll understand when you're older." Basic biology teaches us that the frontal cortex of the brain has yet to fully develop and this helps you process your perception of the future (1). Right now, every thing seems permanent, there is no future and your life now is all that you can chemically understand. Add in a dash of childhood pains, hormones, growth spurts, and general awkwardness and you've got the makings of a really great emo band.
But that's the truth. You won't ever understand but as I'm sure everyone has already told you, it does in fact get better. Happiness really is what you make it and if that is true, then you not only have the opportunity but the responsibility to find what makes you happy. There isn't room for more bitter, insecure dicks in this world. You have to work for this happiness and it's hard work. You can't simply get a job and buy more makeup to be happy. You can't join a gym and look like -who's a popular hottie these days you kids all like?- to be happy. You can't make good grades and satisfy all your parent's expectations to be happy. You can't kiss ass and make everyone like you to be happy. You can't get super rich and buy a bunch of friends to be happy.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Sunday, January 26, 2014
6 days to go...
Ok guys! Here we are with only 6 days left to cam for January. 6 days and over 200 thousand tokens left on our goal. I'm not one to focus on the negative, I know it seems like a lot and I know you guys have already gone out of your way to get us this far. You FREEKING ROCK and I couldn't have a better group to surround myself with every night.
Our goal is the top #50 and although we haven't gotten there yet, let's focus on the crazy progress we have made already. As of today, our best ranking month was October where we ended at #467. Tonight, with 6 days to go, we finished at #199! We are already so far ahead of what we thought was our best only a few months ago.
Now, some of you are probably wondering why I keep saying "we". I'm not hearing voices, I swear. I phrase things this way so I can emphasize my reliance on and appreciation of all my tippers and members. You guys know how the rank works, the girl with the most tokens wins. We can't tip ourselves so that means that it is up to you guys to decide who will be spoiled into success. I can't even say that I do half the work. I just log on and hope you guys will take me there. And so far, you have! We got this far and I'm not ready to give up! I hope you guys will continue to be excited about this.
Even if we don't quite make it, we will know exactly what kind of energy it will take to do better next time and we will be able to say that we followed it through to the end. I don't know about you but the most difficult thing about this for me is trying to keep my energy up for an entire month. The first week or so I am fueled by the excitement but week three rolls around after a few seven hour sessions on a yoga mat and I start to wonder what the fuck I was thinking. Thank you for reminding me what I was thinking. I'm encouraged by your generosity and general awesomeness and that's the shit that keeps me motivated. So here we are, with 6 days and 200 thousand tokens to go. I am already so happy and amazed and re-excited about what's happening and I'm looking at this next week as an opportunity to see how much further we can take this.
Top #50 here we come! Dream big, bitches.
Our goal is the top #50 and although we haven't gotten there yet, let's focus on the crazy progress we have made already. As of today, our best ranking month was October where we ended at #467. Tonight, with 6 days to go, we finished at #199! We are already so far ahead of what we thought was our best only a few months ago.
Now, some of you are probably wondering why I keep saying "we". I'm not hearing voices, I swear. I phrase things this way so I can emphasize my reliance on and appreciation of all my tippers and members. You guys know how the rank works, the girl with the most tokens wins. We can't tip ourselves so that means that it is up to you guys to decide who will be spoiled into success. I can't even say that I do half the work. I just log on and hope you guys will take me there. And so far, you have! We got this far and I'm not ready to give up! I hope you guys will continue to be excited about this.
Even if we don't quite make it, we will know exactly what kind of energy it will take to do better next time and we will be able to say that we followed it through to the end. I don't know about you but the most difficult thing about this for me is trying to keep my energy up for an entire month. The first week or so I am fueled by the excitement but week three rolls around after a few seven hour sessions on a yoga mat and I start to wonder what the fuck I was thinking. Thank you for reminding me what I was thinking. I'm encouraged by your generosity and general awesomeness and that's the shit that keeps me motivated. So here we are, with 6 days and 200 thousand tokens to go. I am already so happy and amazed and re-excited about what's happening and I'm looking at this next week as an opportunity to see how much further we can take this.
Top #50 here we come! Dream big, bitches.
Monday, January 6, 2014
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