Here we are, one year and one month from my last post, again. I'm really neglecting this thing, huh? I realized it was time for me to scoot into gear and get back on the blogging after a long conversation with one of my fans-turned friend yesterday. I realize that my absence affects you guys but sometimes I forget just how much, and how negatively, my AFK status can be on you. Especially those of you I have had the honor to form close friendships with. So allow me to apologize once again and hopefully clear up some questions you may or may not have.
I'm not mad at you. I'm not trying to ghost out. Also, I'm okay and not rocking back and forth in the fetal position with crippling anxiety. Since moving here about two years ago, lots of crazy things have happened in my AFK life. Some things you know about, and some I cannot share in order to protect my secret identity, lol. There have been a few huge and life changing changes (thesaurus anyone?) that have taken place, namely last summer leading up to basement Zoe and crazy cranky sad Zoe. I'm working on ways to release details to you guys without threatening the brand and community we have built over the last 3 and a half years together. Allow me to reiterate, IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME!
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Anxiety, Depression, Change...
I have been affected by anxiety since I can remember. When I was 8 years old, my friend in ballet class used to call me the "worry wart." I was always so concerned with details, concerned with doing well, afraid of messing up.
In middle school during English class, the boy behind me kept kicking the back of my chair. After a few days of this, I finally worked up the nerve to turn around and tell him to quit, only to be immediately yelled at by my teacher. She didn't see the whole situation, she just saw me turning to tell off a boy. I was so embarrassed, I cried.
In high school, I began to experience panic attacks and night terrors. My dad took me to the doctor and after being treated for ulcers I had developed from stress, I was diagnosed with a panic disorder. In large classes, I would become so overwhelmed by hearing all the talking during free time that every few weeks I was getting in trouble for walking off campus and going home without informing anyone. After my diagnosis, I was allowed to sit in the counselor's office if I needed to leave class and she would do paper work while I read Alexander Dumas.
In middle school during English class, the boy behind me kept kicking the back of my chair. After a few days of this, I finally worked up the nerve to turn around and tell him to quit, only to be immediately yelled at by my teacher. She didn't see the whole situation, she just saw me turning to tell off a boy. I was so embarrassed, I cried.
In high school, I began to experience panic attacks and night terrors. My dad took me to the doctor and after being treated for ulcers I had developed from stress, I was diagnosed with a panic disorder. In large classes, I would become so overwhelmed by hearing all the talking during free time that every few weeks I was getting in trouble for walking off campus and going home without informing anyone. After my diagnosis, I was allowed to sit in the counselor's office if I needed to leave class and she would do paper work while I read Alexander Dumas.
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